THE EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON YOUR CHILDREN
Posted on January 12, 2010
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A study suggests that children are better off with two unhappy parents than with divorced parents.
However, the research gives no indication of the different divorce situations that are critical in determining the effect on the children. An amicable divorce may be barely damaging and its effect entirely different .from that of a bitter, acrimonious divorce. The main reason for this is that in an acrimonious situation, each parent usually does his or her best to turn the children against the other parent. This has a very negative and damaging effect on children, and should be avoided at all costs.
ACCESS
Whatever your feelings are about your partner, its best for your child if you’re easygoing and generous about giving your partner access.
Don’t be stingy and don’t be confrontational-it causes your child much anguish. Hand her over somewhere civilized like one o/your homes, not somewhere like a park or shopping mall, or your child will feel like a commodity.
Plan well ahead, don’t break promises at the last minute, and if your partner is late be breezy about it; otherwise your child will worry about both o/you. Don’t make it an opportunity to denigrate her father or mother; be off hand, and keep your child calm:“Oh, I expect the traffic’s bad” or “Shall we play a game till he gets here?”
If your partner is consistently late or unreasonable, arrange a separate meeting to discuss this, out of earshot of your child. The only time to consider preventing your ex-partner from having any access to your child is if you think she’s at risk of being kidnapped or otherwise harmed. In such cases it is best to seek professional advice, either through counseling services or a lawyer.
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Divorce Effect in Children
Posted on July 23, 2009
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DIVORCE
If you reach the point where the only option left is divorce or separation, do not assume automatically that your children will be devastated. Some will be, but the effect on your child will depend greatly on age, personality, the circumstances of the divorce, and the prevailing social attitudes in the school and community.
I know of one primary school class in London, for instance, where out of 35 children, only five had parents who were still together. They were regularly teased by the others from “broken homes,” who saw these five children as materially disadvantaged-the children whose parents were still together got only one set of presents on their birthday or at Christmas, and they had only one house.
Although having divorced or separated parents is nothing to boast about, many of the children in this class did. This may be deeply shocking to a lot of people, but it is just one more indication of the different times in which our children are growing up.
MOVING OUT
If the time comes when you have to leave, it is vital to let your child know that you are not taking your love with you, and that you will continue to be an active parent. Let your child know specifically when you plan to see her and, no matter how difficult it is, try never to break these arrangements, especially at the last minute.
If you are the parent left with full-time responsibility for your child when your partner has moved out, try not to be upset if she misses her father or mother. Don’t try to make her forget that the other parent exists, and don’t speak abusively or acrimoniously about the other parent since this will only confuse your child further.
Even if your child appears to be unaffected by a marital split, keep a dose eye on her and ask her teachers if they notice any difference in her behavior at school. Some children have fewer questions than others and keep their feelings of insecurity to themselves, but they may still need extra attention and love. Increased bed wetting, thumbsucking, and general “dinginess” are all signs that your child is in need of reassurance and special care.
Grandparents can be a great help at the time of the divorce. If possible, do encourage your child to see both sets. Don’t let bad feeling cut off relationships. Think of your child first. She needs continuity, security, and reassurance, and grandparents are second to none at providing these as long as they don’t bad-mouth either parent. Grandparents will also act as a mainstay during access periods and will show your child the unconditional love that every child needs if their parents are divorcing or separating.
Ask your children about their worries and anxieties and give them space to voice them. Listen and take their concerns seriously. Act upon them. They will almost certainly be things you haven’t thought of, or would dismiss as trivial if you did.
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Nursing Guidelines for a Child
Posted on June 30, 2009
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GENERAL NURSING
As well as the treatment your doctor recommends, the following routines will help your child feel more comfortable while he’s ill:
• Air your child’s room and bed at least once a day.
• Leave a bowl by your child’s bed if he is vomiting or has whooping cough.
• Leave a box of tissues by your child’s bed.
• Give small meals frequently; your child may find large portions overwhelming.
• Don’t insist that your child eat if he doesn’t feel like it, but do encourage him to drink lots of fluids.
• Sponge your child down with tepid water if he has a fever.
• Give liquid acetaminophen for pain relief
FEBRILE CONVULSIONS
The most common cause of convulsions in babies is an elevated temperature that accompanies a viral infection. This sort of convulsion is most common in children between six months and four years, and is known as a febrile convulsion.
During a convulsion the muscles of the body twitch involuntarily due to a temporary abnormality in brain function. Possible symptoms include loss of consciousness, loss of bowel and bladder control, rhythmic jerking of the limbs, with sleepiness and confusion on coming around. You should clear a space around him so that he doesn’t injure himself. Wait until his body has stopped jerking and then place him in the recovery position .
You’ll need to sponge your child with tepid (never cold) water to reduce his temperature. Don’t leave him alone, don’t try to restrain him, and don’t put anything in his mouth. Call a doctor as soon as your child has come around. If the convulsion lasts more than 15 minutes, call an ambulance.
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LANGUAGE AND CHILD UNDERSTANDING
Posted on May 12, 2009
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You will be able to observe the way your child gradually gains concepts in his use of language. He will often use the same word to describe similar things, so that apples, oranges, and peaches are all “apple,” because they are all round and fruit; and horses, cows, and sheep are all “horse” because they are all large animals with four legs. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he can’t tell the difference, only that he doesn’t have words to describe all of them, so he uses the most similar one.
Similarly, the questions your child asks you may be very simple because he can’t fully express what it is he wants to know. So when he says “What’s that,” he may be asking “What is it? What is it called? What does it do? How does it work?” all at once. Give him as much information as you think he can understand: “This is laundry soap. It’s just like a bar of soap, and I put it in the washing machine to make our clothes nice and clean.” Always try to answer the question he is really asking.
Socializing During the third year, your child’s verbal skills will be improved by talking to other children.
Girls at play Close friendships form the basis of a girl’s social world, and this will be reflected in her choice of language.
LANGUAGE IN GIRLS
Right from the moment of birth, girls are more responsive to the human voice than boys, and they have better verbal skills throughout childhood.
Girls talk earlier than boys, and begin to string words into sentences earlier. They have better articulation, pronunciation, and grammar, and are better at verbal reasoning. They also learn free video poker how to play backgammon no deposit bonus online casino 888 no download casino play roulette craps game black jack download american roulette play video poker baccarat free casino game no download online casino free money on line casino wagering roulette online online casino bettingдивани free online casino slots free craps best casino roulette gambling internet casino gambling uk best casino online distributed raman amplifierfull pay video poker no deposit casino code best craps game black jack tournament best online casino site craps online game newest online casino free slots no download play blackjack online free dueces wild video poker black jack gambling online video poker game free casino cash no deposit video poker tutorial play free video poker how to win at black jack casino roulette casino guide how to win at roulette rules of craps casino game online real money backgammon baccarat casino online free video poker game play free video poker video poker odds video poker tournaments to read earlier than boys.
The structure of the female brain is believed to be the reason fir girls’ superior verbal skills : the speech centers are more tightly organized in the female brain than in the male brain, and have more and better connections with other functions of the brain.
LANGUAGE IN BOYS
Boys are almost always slower than girls at developing language skills, and this discrepancy lasts throughout childhood.
Boys are later in talking than girls, are slower to put words together in sentences, and take longer to learn to read. Speech disorders such as stuttering are fir more common in boys than in girls, and boys outnumber girls in remedial reading classes by four to one.
Although this difference in linguistic ability levels out somewhat during the teenage years, you can help your son’s language skills in the preschool years by reading aloud to him and playing lots of word games.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP
There are many ways you can help your child as he becomes more skilled and confident in using language.
• Never overtly correct your child’s mistakes; diplomatically repeat what he has just said, but correctly. If he hesitates over a word, supply it instantly to maintain his momentum.
• Your child responds well to reasoning, so include him in simple problem solving, with questions, options, and solutions, openly discussing each step. Ask his opinion about something you know you can agree with so that he fees he is included and has made the decisions.
• When your child speaks to you, turn to him and listen attentively. Nod, and incline your head to show you are listening to him.
• In your child’s list of reading, include a choice of fairy tales, because they help your child come to terms with his own world without it hurting him, and because they improve his concepts of real and unreal; past, present, and future; fairness and injustice; good and evil, and so on.
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Best Wayto Occupy a Child In Hospital
Posted on April 16, 2009
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If you don’t like hospitals and you convey this negative attitude to your child, you may inadvertently make his stay in the hospital more difficult than it has to be. Try to teach him that a hospital is a friendly place where people go to get better. Whenever the chance arises-if you have a friend or a relative in the hospital, for instance-take your child along when you go to visit and be matter-of-fact, not gloomy, about their illness. If a child’s first experience of a hospital is when he becomes sick, it will seem more alien than it would otherwise.
If you know that your child is going to the hospital, tell him a story about a child who goes to the hospital, and role-play doctors and nurses with toy stethoscopes. Be as honest as you can about why he’s going to the hospital, and emphasize that it’s to make him well. Reassure him that you’ll be with him as much as you can, and if he’s old enough to understand, tell him when he’ll be well enough to come home.
If your child requires an operation he’ll probably be curious about what’s going to happen to him. Answer his questions as honestly as you can-if he asks you whether the operation will hurt, don’t pretend that it won’t, but tell him that doctors have medicines to make the pain go away quickly.
WHAT TO TAKE
You can help your child prepare for a stay in the hospital by packing a bag with him. One of the most unsettling things will be the unfamiliar surroundings and change of routine, so let him bring some of his own things-a personal stereo and CDs, tapes, or a radio, travel games, cuddly toys, and a photograph for his bedside. For a short stay pack the following necessities:
• A toiletries bag containing a hairbrush, comb, soap, washcloth, toothbrush, and toothpaste.
• Three pairs of pajamas or three nightgowns.
• A bathrobe and a pair of slippers.
• Three pairs of socks.
• Three pairs of underpants.
IN THE HOSPITAL
Many hospitals allow parents to stay with their children 24 hours a day. Whether your hospital does or not, try to spend as much time as possible with your child, especially at first, when his surroundings are unfamiliar. Let him know when you are going to come, and always keep your promises about visiting. Ask the nurses on the ward whether you can bathe, change, and feed your child. If he is well enough, you can read to him and play games with him. If you can’t stay at the hospital all the time, encourage your partner, friends, and relatives to visit at different times, rather than all together, so that your child has someone he knows well with him almost all the time.
COMING HOME
Depending on how long your child has been in the hospital, you may notice some changes in his habits when he comes home. He probably woke up and went to sleep much earlier in the hospital than he does at home, and these sleeping and waking patterns may persist for a while. He may resent the discipline at home after having been spoiled and indulged a little, and he may be reluctant to go back to school. The best approach to these things is to be tolerant and patient, since your child will soon adapt to life at home again.
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Immunizations - Active and Passive
Posted on April 10, 2009
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There are two types of immunization: passive and active. The former works by introducing already-formed antibodies into the body. The latter involves injecting a weakened bacterium that encourages the body’s immune system to produce its own antibodies-this is why immunization can sometimes produce mild symptoms of the disease it is intended to protect against.
In the first five years of your child’s life, he will need several immunizations: three DTP injections, three polio immunizations (taken orally), one MMR injection and three Hib injections. Vaccines do not give instant protection against disease; they take up to four weeks to be effective. Give liquid acetaminophen to ease discomfort.
Immunization protects both individuals and whole communities from infectious diseases. Every child should therefore be properly immunized. Some parents are alarmed by stories about the side effects of vaccinations, but these are actually quite rare. Your child shouldn’t be vaccinated, however, if he has a fever or infection, or if he’s had a severe reaction to a previous dose of vaccine. Your doctor or child health centre will advise you.
PREVENTING TETANUS
There is a danger of tetanus with any deep wound. Tetanus bacteria and spores live in soil and manure, so dirty wounds are dangerous. The bacteria produce a poison that attacks the nerves and brain, causing muscle spasms, particularly of the face, hence the common name lockjaw. Patients always require treatment in the hospital. Immunization prevents tetanus completely. The first tetanus injection should be given before 12 months, with boosters at tenyearly intervals up to a total of five doses. If your child has a dog bite or a deep, dirty cut and has not been immunized, he must have a tetanus injection right away at a hospital emergency room
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What to do When Your Child Is Sick
Posted on March 27, 2009
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Most parents know when their child is becoming ill, even though it’s difficult to know what precisely is wrong.
This chapter will help you decide when to call the doctor, when home nursing will suffice, and what to do to make your child comfortable. A child may need special care and attention because of a chronic condition such as asthma,or a learning disorder such as dyslexia, or he may simply be very advanced for his years. Early identification of special needs is very important; you are your child’s main care giver, and the better informed you are, the more you can do for him. First aid is an essential skill for all parents.
A sick child is pale, listless, and indifferent to food. You should be able to treat him successfully at home for most things. If you’re ever worried or uncertain, however, call your doctor. Some situations always require immediate medical attention (see Emergencies, opposite).
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
If your child is getting sick, signs that you should monitor closely are his temperature, appetite, and breathing rate.
Raised temperature The normal body temperature for a child is 98.6°F(37oC). When your child’s temperature rises above lOO.4oF (38°C) he has a fever, in which case you should seek medical help. Call a doctor right away if a raised temperature is accompanied by a stiff neck and a rash, since these symptoms may indicate meningitis.
Diarrhea Loose, watery bowel movements mean that the intestines are inflamed and irritated; the most common cause is gastroenteritis. Diarrhea is always serious in babies and young children since it can lead to dehydration.
Vomiting Consult your doctor if your child has been vomiting intermittently during a six-hour period or longer, especially if the. vomiting is accompanied by diarrhea or fever. Vomiting is usually caused by food that hasn’t agreed with your child or by gastroenteritis. Occasionally, there may be a more serious cause; your doctor will make a diagnosis.
Pain You should see your doctor if your child complains of headaches, particularly after he’s bumped his head or if the headache comes on a few hours after the head injury, or if there is blurred vision, nausea, dizziness, or stomach pain, particularly on the lower right side of the abdomen.
Breathing Difficulty in breathing is a medical emergency and requires immediate help. Breathing may be labored and you may notice that your child’s ribs are drawn in sharply each time he takes a breath. If your child’s lips turn blue, you should treat this as an emergency and send for an ambulance.
Appetite Sudden changes in appetite may indicate underlying illness, especially if your child has a fever, even a mild one. Your doctor should be alerted if your child refuses food for a day and seems lethargic.
WHAT TO TELL YOUR DOCTOR
In order to make a diagnosis, your doctor will need a description of your child’s symptoms, when they started, in what order they occurred, how severe they are, and whether anything precipitated them (eating something poisonous, for instance). In addition to this, your doctor will need to know your child’s age and medical history.
Your doctor may ask the following questions: Has your child vomited or had diarrhea? Does he have any pain? Where is it? How long has it lasted? Have you given him anything for it? Is his temperature elevated? How quickly did the fever come on and what was his highest temperature? Has he lost consciousness at any time? Have you noticed swollen glands or a rash? Has he had any dizziness or blurred vision? The doctor will also ask general questions about your child’s appetite and sleeping patterns. What to ask your doctor If your child is prescribed drugs, make sure that you know when they should be taken (some need to be taken on a full or empty stomach), how long they should be taken for, and whether there are likely to be any side effects. Find out how your child should be cared for and how soon you can expect his symptoms to go away.
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Information Regarding First Aid
Posted on March 23, 2009
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As a parent, you will inevitably have to cope with minor accidents as your child grows up. Most of the time these will be minor cuts and bruises, but you should be equipped to cope with major accidents or emergencies, should they occur. All parents should know the basic first-aid techniques to deal with accidents quickly, effectively, and calmly. To give first aid effectively you need to understand and practice the techniques detailed on the following pages, and you should also keep a first-aid kit in your home. This should be accessible in an emergency but stored out of reach of your child.
EMERGENCY FIRST AID
A severe accident with the loss of much blood or other body fluids may precipitate shock, which is always serious. Other emergencies include choking , a very severe respiratory tract infection that blocks the airways, drowning, and unconsciousness. Prompt action on your part can save your child’s life.
HOME FIRST-AID KIT
You can buy a home first-aid kit from any pharmacy, but putting your own kit together is easy and inexpensive. Store the items in an airtight, waterproof container.
PRIORITIES
When your child has an accident you must get your priorities straight. Tell any adult present to call an ambulance while you go through the following checklist. Detailed instructions are shown for resuscitation and choking . If there isn’t anyone to help, you should go through the checklist before calling an ambulance.
Is your child in danger? If appropriate, remove the danger from your child, or your child from the danger. Do not put yourself at risk, and do not move your child if you suspect a fracture.
Is he conscious? Shake your child gently by his shoulders and keep calling his name.
Is his airway blocked? Open your child’s airway by lifting the chin and tilting the head back. Then clear any obstruction .
Is he breathing? Lean close to your child’s mouth to listen for breathing and feel his breath against your cheek. Look at his chest to see if it is rising and falling. If there are no signs of breathing after five seconds, give two breaths of rescue breathing .
Does he have a pulse? Check for a pulse in the arm or neck , or place your hand on your child’s chest and count the beats. A normal pulse rate is about 120 beats per minute for a baby and 100-120 beats per minute for a one-year-old. If no pulse is present, give alternate cycles of five chest compressions with one rescue breath for one minute; call an ambulance, taking your child with you to the telephone if you can; then continue resuscitation.
Calling an ambulance If your child is having breathing difficulties or is unconscious, then call an ambulance, or get another adult to do so. Try not to leave your child unattended and be prepared to carry out resuscitation on him. When calling an ambulance, state your name clearly and give your exact location: the road name and house number or name, including any junctions or landmarks, and your telephone number. Describe the condition of your child and give his age, and tell the dispatcher if you are certified in first aid. You should also give details of any hazards, such as a gas leak, or relevant local weather conditions-for example, fog or icy roads.
FIRST-AID TRAINING
To make use of these procedures you must learn them by heart. If you have to waste time referring to this book to refresh your memory, your delay could mean the difference between lift and death for your child.
This book cannot train you in first aid. To learn first aid properly you should complete a course and pass the final examination. The standard first-aid certificate is awarded by the American Red Cross . It is valid fir only three years, after which you should update your skills with further training.
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Do’s and Don’ts in child care
Posted on March 12, 2009
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Do
• Praise your child and encourage her to regard bowel and bladder control as an accomplishment.
• Let your child set the pace. You can help your child along, but you can’t speed up the process.
• Suggest that your child sit on the potty, but allow her to make the decision.
• Let your child be as independent as she likes, using the toilet or the potty, and praise her increased independence.
• Use training pants to give your child a sense of independence.
Don’t
• Insist that your child sit on the potty.
• Show any disgust for your child’s feces. She will regard using the potty as an achievement and will be proud of them.
• Ask your child to wait once she has asked for the potty, even for a moment; she can “hold on” only for a very short time.
• Scold at mistakes and accidents.
HOW TO HELP AN OLDER TODDLER
Do
• Remind your child to go to the bathroom at regular intervals.
• Take an extra set of clothes with you when you go out.
• Accompany your child to the bathroom in unfamiliar places to reassure her.
• Be sympathetic and make light of any accidents.
• Offer praise when your child has a dry night.
• Look for the cause within the family first if wetting or soiling occurs after a long period of” reliable control. If it persists, seek advice from your doctor.
DON’T
• Scold at or draw attention to any form of accident your child has.
• Withhold fluids from your child in the evening.
• Compare your child with others of the same age who may have better control.
• Make an issue our of any accident in front of friends.
• Be unsympathetic if your child needs to use the bathroom at an inconvenient moment.
TRAINING PANTS
Before your child’s bladder control is fully developed you might like to use training pants. She will probably prefer them to diapers because they seem more grown up.
• Disposable training pants have easily tearable side seams so that they can be quickly removed in case of accidents.
• Nondisposable training pants are more absorbent than the disposable kind and can be left on at night. They are also bulkier, however, so some children find them uncomfortable.
REGRESSION
In a child who has been reliably dry for some time, regression to night- or daytime wetting is usually a sign of anxiety.
The arrival of a new baby is a typical reason for your child regressing to an earlier stage as a way of winning back your attention, but any sort of change like a move to a new home or school can cause it.
Occasionally, regression can be caused by an infection of the urinary tract, so when you visit the doctor for any urinary problem, take a sample of your child’s urine for testing.
Bowel control, once developed, is usually much more reliable than bladder control. Bowel accidents are uncommon and, if they occur frequently, particularly after control has apparently been reliable for some time, may indicate an underlying problem such as retention of stool or some form of emotional tension. Seek advice from your doctor.
HELPING A GIRL
Teach your little girl good habits of hygiene, for instance, washing her hands and straightening up the bathroom after she uses it. You’ll probably find that she responds well to this.
Most girls are generally neater than boys, and will enjoy turning a cleanliness routine into a game.
HELPING A BOY
Most boys are messier than girls in using the potty or the toilet, but there are some things that you can do to help your little boy.
Show him how to stand in font of the toilet and teach him to aim at the bowl before be urinates. You could put a piece of toilet paper in the bowl for him to aim at. Let him see his father urinating so that he can imitate him.
Boys are more likely than girls to play with their feces. If this happens, don’t show disgust; just wash your child’s hands calmly, as you would if they were dirty with mud or paint.
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Fear Of Child from Dark
Posted on February 26, 2009
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