THE EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON YOUR CHILDREN

Posted on January 12, 2010
Filed Under child care |

A study suggests that children are better off with two unhappy parents than with divorced parents.

However, the research gives no indication of the different divorce situations that are critical in determining the effect on the children. An amicable divorce may be barely damaging and its effect entirely different .from that of a bitter, acrimonious divorce. The main reason for this is that in an acrimonious situation, each parent usually does his or her best to turn the children against the other parent. This has a very negative and damaging effect on children, and should be avoided at all costs.

ACCESS

Whatever your feelings are about your partner, its best for your child if you’re easy­going and generous about giving your partner access.

Don’t be stingy and don’t be confrontational-it causes your child much anguish. Hand her over somewhere civilized like one o/your homes, not somewhere like a park or shopping mall, or your child will feel like a commodity.

Plan well ahead, don’t break promises at the last minute, and if your partner is late be breezy about it; otherwise your child will worry about both o/you. Don’t make it an opportunity to denigrate her father or mother; be off hand, and keep your child calm:“Oh, I expect the traffic’s bad” or “Shall we play a game till he gets here?”

If your partner is consistently late or unreasonable, arrange a separate meeting to discuss this, out of earshot of your child. The only time to consider preventing your ex-partner from having any access to your child is if you think she’s at risk of being kidnapped or otherwise harmed. In such cases it is best to seek professional advice, either through counseling services or a lawyer.


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