If you don’t like hospitals and you convey this negative attitude to your child, you may inadvertently make his stay in the hospital more difficult than it has to be. Try to teach him that a hospital is a friendly place where people go to get better. Whenever the chance arises-if you have a friend or a relative in the hospital, for instance-take your child along when you go to visit and be matter-of-fact, not gloomy, about their illness. If a child’s first experience of a hospital is when he becomes sick, it will seem more alien than it would otherwise.
If you know that your child is going to the hospital, tell him a story about a child who goes to the hospital, and role-play doctors and nurses with toy stethoscopes. Be as honest as you can about why he’s going to the hospital, and emphasize that it’s to make him well. Reassure him that you’ll be with him as much as you can, and if he’s old enough to understand, tell him when he’ll be well enough to come home.
If your child requires an operation he’ll probably be curious about what’s going to happen to him. Answer his questions as honestly as you can-if he asks you whether the operation will hurt, don’t pretend that it won’t, but tell him that doctors have medicines to make the pain go away quickly.
WHAT TO TAKE
You can help your child prepare for a stay in the hospital by packing a bag with him. One of the most unsettling things will be the unfamiliar surroundings and change of routine, so let him bring some of his own things-a personal stereo and CDs, tapes, or a radio, travel games, cuddly toys, and a photograph for his bedside. For a short stay pack the following necessities:
• A toiletries bag containing a hairbrush, comb, soap, washcloth, toothbrush, and toothpaste.
• Three pairs of pajamas or three nightgowns.
• A bathrobe and a pair of slippers.
• Three pairs of socks.
• Three pairs of underpants.
IN THE HOSPITAL
Many hospitals allow parents to stay with their children 24 hours a day. Whether your hospital does or not, try to spend as much time as possible with your child, especially at first, when his surroundings are unfamiliar. Let him know when you are going to come, and always keep your promises about visiting. Ask the nurses on the ward whether you can bathe, change, and feed your child. If he is well enough, you can read to him and play games with him. If you can’t stay at the hospital all the time, encourage your partner, friends, and relatives to visit at different times, rather than all together, so that your child has someone he knows well with him almost all the time.
COMING HOME
Depending on how long your child has been in the hospital, you may notice some changes in his habits when he comes home. He probably woke up and went to sleep much earlier in the hospital than he does at home, and these sleeping and waking patterns may persist for a while. He may resent the discipline at home after having been spoiled and indulged a little, and he may be reluctant to go back to school. The best approach to these things is to be tolerant and patient, since your child will soon adapt to life at home again.